50 Cent: Blood on the Sand - review

I think it is fair to say that I am not 50 Cent's number one fan. At the risk of sounding like an embarrassing Dad who says that  they like music in an attempt to seem younger than they are (or should act), I quite like some rap music but Fiddy is, frankly, not my cup of tea.  Or mother-fucking tea, as Mr Cent would have it.

Fiddy regrets offering to be a 'Phone a Friend'

When the second game to feature Mr Cent, 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, came out a couple of years ago, it reviewed quite well, with a lot of 'guilty pleasure' reviews (the 360 version is showing 71% on Metacritic, a respectable score) and I picked it up about a year after its release.  I only started playing it last month though and....

...it was actually quite good.  The game is a third-person (though there are a couple of vehicle levels), cover-based, co-op (either with a human or CPU player) shooter and the basic mechanic is sound.  When playing on your own, you have dubious pleasure of playing as Fiddy, with the CPU playing as one of three members of G-Unit.  As well as offering back-up, they fawn over Fiddy, praising him for particularly tricky actions (read: shooting people), which can get irritating (guys, get a room).

Oh Fiddy, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Fiddy, hey Fiddy

Fiddy and friends swap profanities with gay abandon - it was the sweariest game I'd ever played, a title it only held for a short time as I started playing Mafia II (which REALLY has swearing) afterwards.  Whereas the Mafia II swearing seems authentically gangster like, Fiddy's potty mouth is pretty ridiculous.  For example, shouting 'fire in the hole' is a  quick phrase, shouted out  to let others know something is about to explode.  Shouting 'Fire in the motherfucking hole, bitches' kind of defeats the object - you'd get your bling blown off.

The plot, such as it is, revolves around Fiddy having performed a concert in an unnamed hellhole in the Middle East, for which he was not paid his $10m fee (which seems a lot to me - maybe Fiddy is using the game as a way to jack up his asking price). In lieu of payment, he is given (as you are) a diamond-encrusted skull, originally inhabited by the favourite wife of an olden days king. This skull is subsequently stolen and Fiddy spends the rest of the game trying to track it down. I'm not sure why he is so attached to the skull - he'd barely owned 5 minutes before it was stolen and presumably there are other failed states willing to pay his gig asking price. You wonder why he didn't just give it up as a bad lot and jet back to LA and his solid gold (I assume) mansion.

One previous owner

Anyway, the rest of the, pretty short, game is spent looking for the skull  while killing lots of people, with a few two-dimensional characters popping up in cut scenes explaining the plot (Omid Djalilli did you really need the money that badly?).  There are 9 missions, most of which are broken down into several chapters and the game can be completed in 6-7 hours.  You get a score for each chapter, so there is the prospect of replaying chapters to increase your score (not that I bothered with this).

Why do bosses attack with helicopters in the area where they store their RPG ammunition?

One of the things it most strongly reminded me of, was Elvis Presley's movie career (this may be the world's first comparison between these two artists). They don't get shown much on TV these days, but when I was growing up they'd often be shown during the daytime or in the early evening on BBC2. In all of them, Elvis would be Elvis - he might be a prison inmate, a nightclub singer, a GI, a roustabout, he night have different name but he would *be* Elvis.  Fiddy is playing 'Fiddy' here but the character you're playing isn't really Curtis Jackson aka 50 Cent - it's the gangsta he wishes he could be.  Fiddy (the real one) famously got shot 9 times in 2000 and this is used as an aspect of his gangsta credentials but surely it's not getting shot 9 times that makes you a successful gangsta?  I do not think that the real Fiddy would stand much of a chance against the terrorists, private military contractors or soldiers in Blood on the Sand - one of the pleasures of the game is the innate absurdity of this pampered star taking on the persona of John Rambo and the genuine enjoyment you can hear in his voice from the deluded pleasure he takes from the 'role'.

There is a debate in videogames about whether they can be art.  This is not the game that decides that argument.  However, it is an enjoyable, solid game that doesn't outstay its welcome. Worth picking up if you see it for under a tenner.  But don't take it too seriously.

Mafia II Collector's Edition

As must be clear from my blog, I am quite partial to a collector's edition of a game, particularly those packed full of ephemera that I will likely never use (like the Guild Seal in the Fable III Limited Collector's Edition, for example). I'm particularly fond of packs of cards, despite not playing a  card game more advanced than 'Snap' since about 1987 (in-game poker in Red Dead Redemption excepted).

My latest purchase is the Collector's Edition of Mafia II. This retails at £60, which is pretty steep (more than I would be prepared to pay, certainly) but I picked it up, new, for only £14.99 from an Amazon Marketplace seller.

The contents are contained within a plastic outer sleeve, containing a 'steel box' style game box, a map and a hardback book (of the same dimensions as the game box).

Fuhgeddaboutit!

The matt-effect steel box is covered, front and back, with artwork from the game and is embossed on both sides with 'Mafia II'. Contained within is the game disk and a CD containing the orchestral score from the game (the latter disk is mocked up to look like a vinyl LP, which is a nice touch). There's a leaflet giving the track listing of the score and also a code for the 'Made Man' DLC pack for the game. This contains two exclusive cars and two suits for Vito, the main character, to use in-game.

The hardback book is made to look like an old-fashioned photo album and all the material inside is printed to look as if it were stuck in to it. The contents relate to concept artwork from the game - the characters, the vehicles, the settings, advertisements and weapons. Each section is prefaced by a introduction in English, French, German, Italian and Spanish.

The final item in the set is a map of the game area, described as 'tear resistant' on the outer sleeve of the package (though I've not put that to the test, with either meaning of 'tear'). The back of the map is covered with 40s style advertisements, in keeping with the game's setting.

In game, the map can be accessed via the Back button

This is a decent package but I don't think it is worth the £60 asking (but certainly worth the £15 I paid for it).

The package in full

Monster Hunter Portable t-shirt

I was in Uniqlo in London yesterday.  They've currently got a range of Monster Hunter (and also Naruto) t-shirts at £12.99 each and I bought this one -

As, literally, worn by me (30 seconds before  I took the photo)

Nerd detail in full

Uniqlo often has Japanese videogame-themed clothing (and manga and anime too), some subtle, some not so much.  Well worth a look (through the website if you don't have a location near you).

The reasons why Enslaved: Journey to the West failed at retail

I've just finished playing Enslaved Journey to the West on PS3 (with the Power A Pro Elite Wireless Controller). It's a great game, original in execution if not in design (it is essentially a reskinned Uncharted but with more emphasis on platforming), with beautiful graphics, an intelligent story and script, likeable characters and great voice acting. It wouldn't have broken into my Top 5 of 2010 had a played it in the year it was released but it would certainly have got in the Top 10 if I'd bothered to write about that many games.

But it was reported last week  that, despite generally positive reviews (the PS3 version shows 80% on metacritic and the 360 version 82%) it sold under half a million copies worldwide (in comparison, Tom Clancy Splinter Cell Conviction, also released in 2010, sold 1.71m copies (source - VG Chartz) and sales behemoth Call of Duty Blacks Ops sold 7m worldwide on the day that it was released (source Wikipedia)). In the face of consumer apathy, Namco Bandai, the publisher, has been noncommittal about whether or not there will ever be a sequel commissioned.

Gamers often criticise publishers for only releasing sequels or yearly updates of games, with little or no original IP.  Publishers, however, are answerable to their shareholders, not core gamers and are inclined to be risk averse - if Brothers of Duty: World Ops 2011 is going to recoup its costs and then make a profit, it is more likely to get a green-light than a game based on 16th Century Chinese literature.

Some original IP does make an impact though, such as Uncharted (3.51m sales worldwide (VG Chartz), on PS3 only), so why did Enslaved fail?

You've got a purty mouth

Enslaved is set in a post-apocalyptic world (though the cause of that apocalypse is only hinted at) but it is quite a lot more 'post' apocalypse than one normally finds in such games. Accordingly, Mother Nature, as anyone that has watched the History Channel's 'Life after People' show (as the developer of the game, Ninja Theory, certainly seems to have done) could have guessed, has been back with a vengeance. The opening levels of the game take place in a ruined New York, choked with lush vegetation and they look gorgeous. However, they don't look like what can normally be expected from a post apocalyptic setting in a videogame, the drab browns of games like Gears of War, Fallout, Resistance, or even Advance Wars Days of Ruin.  I wonder if the different look and feel of the game deterred casual purchasers, more used to seeing wrecked buildings portrayed in a very muted palette.

A stalagmite of culture shock

Grand Central Station

Very pretty but can they fight?

The combat was one of the failings of Enslaved, being dull and monotonous and, when faced by multiple enemies, generally descended into button mashing. I kept playing the game until completion, as I was interested in the story but a friend (from whom I borrowed the game) gave up on it midway through, as she found the combat too dull.

Get your button-mashing fingers ready

It does what is says on the tin

I think that the box art for the game (and also the magazine ads that used the same artwork) is insipid and prevents the box from standing out on the shelf in a game store. To an uninitiated game shop browser, the case shows a funny looking bloke and a girl running away from a giant robot dog. Would this entice the average game buyer? Do you want to run from a giant robot dog or fight a giant robot dog (both of which happen in the game, incidentally)?  I'm no designer but it also seems a bit 'busy' to me and the title gets a little lost in the background.

Hollywood

This one isn't a reason for why I think the game failed (critically speaking, it's entirely the opposite) but it might conceivably be a reason why Namco Bandai decide not to publish a sequel. The game was part-scripted by Alex Garland, author of The Beach and scriptwriter of 28 Days Later (and, apparently, a gamer) and the main character was voiced by Andy Serkis, who also directed the game's excellent voice acting. The story and script were noticeably better than most videogame writing, some of it genuinely poignant. I was particularly impressed by the interactions between Monkey and Trip, the two main characters, which were sensitively handled. That made for a better game experience for the purchasers but did it entice gamers in the first place? I doubt that it did - you need to get the punters through the doors before they can start admiring your carpets.  But I think it might be an impediment to Namco Bandai commissioning a sequel -  I doubt Messrs Garland and Serkis would have come cheap, pushing the game further into the red.

It's Christmasssssss!

The game was released in the first week of October, just at the cusp of the retail run up to Christmas.  A lot of games are released (and bought, to be fair) at this time of year and to compete with the Calls of Duty and FIFAs (last year's iterations of which were released in the first week of November and 1 October, respectively) an original game has to stand out; unfortunately, few original games manage to do this (Beyond Good and Evil, another 'lost classic', was released in November 2003).

The punkiest monkey who ever popped

If you are of a certain age, you will recognise this heading as a line from the title song of the fantastic  Monkey TV series (Japanese, dubbed into English) that played on British TV in the late 70s/early 80s.  Enslaved has the same source material - 16th Century Chinese classic, Monkey: Journey to the West - but, clearly, updated and adapted.  I read the book when I was about ten, having been a fan of the TV series (all I can remember now is Monkey weeing on Buddha's fingers at the end of the universe) but, it being nearly thirty years since that TV series aired, I doubt that many of the game's target audience were familiar with the source material.  Did this matter?  I'm not sure - the source material, to some extent, explains Enslaved's  Monkey, Trip(itaka) and Pigsy but can the game be enjoyed without that knowledge?  I think it probably can and I think Namco Bandai actively played down the source material during the promotion of the game, for fear of 'scaring away' potential purchasers with the intellectualism that is implied with basing a game on a 400-year old story. Of course, as it turned out, they were scared away anyway.

Sleepy Monkey

Sequel

I think that it is a  combination of these issues, together with the fact that the game itself is not without its flaws, that led to the game's commercial failure.  Will this stop a sequel being made though? If there was a sequel, gamers could expect that the things that didn't quite work in this game (the poor camera, the dull combat) would be fixed. Unfortunately, the poor sales would probably mean that some of the things that I think made it an interesting game - the main characters, the beautiful graphics, intelligent story - would also be changed, following focus testing.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time  was another (and better) game that received a great critical reception but whose initial sales in the run up to a busy Christmas in 2003, coupled with a pre-2004 PS2 exclusivity deal with Sony, were less than expected. Its post-Christmas sales were good and overall it was a commercial success but the developers made many knee-jerk changes to the feel of the game for the sequel, Prince of Persia: Warrior Within . Gamers who loved the first game, myself included, criticised Ubisoft for succumbing to focus-group-led development and turning the franchise into something that they thought that a 14-year old boy would like (including awful rawk music and an emo Prince) and jettisoned much of what made the first game so good.

So, the city is rotting but a cloth flag still flies?

I fear that this could happen with an Enslaved sequel, were one to be commissioned. That the parts of the game that I liked - the beautiful graphics, the colourful palette, the complicated relationship between the two main characters - would be lost in an emo nightmare, Warrior Within fashion. So, while I would love a sequel that remained true to the spirit of Enslaved, I'm concerned that the performance of the first game would mean that this wouldn't be the sequel that I would get.  It may, then, be best to leave Enslaved as a sequel-free game and enjoy it for what it is, rather than have a misfiring sequel spoil its memory.